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Offline `Shally.

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Depressed . . .
« on: December 14, 2013, 20:37 »
As the title said, I got dumped yesterday. My so-called-boyfriend was kissing and holding hands with another girl. I am ashamed of myself for even bother dating with such a guy. I didn't know he hated me that much, because yesterday he got mad, like rage mode on his own best friend. I don't even know why, and the next thing I know I'm dumped. It's like, you keep secrets from me, and yet I don't know anything of it. After that day, all his friends keep looking down on me. To be honest, I don't even know why. It's so confusing now, its like everything has to be hidden from me. I can handle it if I want to. And a boyfriend should not tell other people their secrets, he told his best friend and almost everyone that knew me. He can't even keep his mouth shut for once. Well, I'm happy that I didn't tell him my other secrets, those were worser. My relationships never ever lasted longer than 2 weeks, it keep on ending lesser and lesser. It just makes me wonder, maybe, I'm not ready for one. Or either I haven't find the right person yet. How can people like these never take it serious on relationships? I've been through enough for the past few months, and I'll talk about in the spoiler. It's a bit serious somewhat, so I don't even know anymore.

(click to show/hide)

It's a big thing for me, to keep on suffering. I'm always 78% sad, and the rest is what keeps me from being depress all the time. It just, I just don't know anymore, it makes me wonder so so much about who I can talk about these things and who will actually try to help me out. I post on here, because I trust you guys. Like I had said before around 2011, I trusted you guys/girls because you're honest enough to tell us your stories about your life. So it shouldn't be that bad to tell mines.

Although I'm still not happy from getting dumped, but I'm glad that I let out part of my feelings. And thank you to those who cheered me and make me smile everyday.

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Offline Harrstein

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2013, 04:16 »


Everything fits with a hammer. If not, grab a bigger hammer

Offline Vauxhall

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2013, 00:27 »
Shit, Sal. That's horrible! I don't know what to say.

I hope you don't continue being depressed over your crappy ex-boyfriend. Someone like that isn't worth getting depressed over. However, this is just my personal opinion, but I think you shouldn't take the relationship seriously after just two weeks. Some people think it's too soon to get serious and they freak out, and some people are just far too immature to think of relationships that way in such a short amount of time.
I'd say you should wait for a few months before you take it seriously. Sit down with your partner and ask them where they see their future going like, do they see you in their future? (ie Getting married? Having kids?) You know, with relationships, you either break up or you stay together for the long run. If they see themselves together with you for a long while, it's a strong indicator that they want to stay with you, they take your relationship seriously, and that they're dedicated to you, you know? I guess that way, you know the person well enough to trust them with your secrets.

And you shouldn't listen to people who call you stupid -- especially if they're your family! What you did (not reacting) wasn't stupid. You were afraid and even if you had pushed your friend or something, he could have retaliated and hit you, and the situation could have been much, much worse. I guess, if you had evidence that he raped you, you could have reported him to the authorities. Rape is serious and it's never ok, and someone like that shouldn't be walking around without having been punished.

I hope you feel better now, and er... I hope nothing I said was offensive -- that's the last thing I'd want. I was just giving you my personal opinion, and hoping that it helps you in some way. Either way, chin up, Sally. You're strong and you shouldn't let the negatives weigh you down!
Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

Offline `Shally.

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2013, 09:51 »
@harr-tan, thank you.

@vaux-sensei, well I do agree on your opinion. It wasn't really a serious relationship, because we don't really hang out as much as what normal couples do. What makes me pissed off is that he tells his friends something that I never said before. There was a girl, it was his friend, she was REALLY beautiful. So I told him that she's gorgeous. And he told her that I called her ugly, and she got mad so she told people that I'm a flirt. o-o It's like, a wth moment.

And I'm not offended by your opinion, just to be honest, most people said te same thing to me. About the rapist, that's the problem, there's no evidence since it was too long ago. And I only know his first name, his last name is a fake. So, my family wants to hunt him down o-o and punch him and probably kill him.

I know i shouldn't get butthurt from being called stupid, but it gets out of hand when they start telling me that they'll take me to the mental hospital & have my get checked up. I do have some tiny mentality @_@ but its not that bad. I'm pretty sure its normal for someone to see things that isn't real.

But other than that, thank you vaux for giving such a wonderful opinion/advice.

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Offline Vauxhall

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2013, 11:01 »
Oh, that guy really needs to grow up. *rolls eyes* Spreading falls rumours is what people do when they're bored with their lives. Why don't you explain the situation to the girl? I don't know, just to clear things up? I always like to explain myself, especially when it comes to rumours. So, who knows, maybe she'll believe you and you guys can become friends?

Crazy, the guy was probably a criminal already and that's why he gave a fake last name. You don't have him on Facebook at all? If you had mutual friends with him, maybe you can find his real identity... and warn the police. I mean, even if you don't have evidence, the police should know so they can keep tabs on him to prevent a repeat offence. By actually telling the police, evidence or no evidence, you can probably protect another woman from him!

Hah. I think if they want to take you to a mental hospital to get checked up, I would go if I were in your shoes. I mean, yeah. It's normal to see strange things, but it would be nice to shut them up once and for all, you know? Anyway, if the doctor says you're fine, then they can't really call you stupid or whatever nonsense anymore. :P
And I think with doctors, you can tell them confidential stuff like: "Oh, my family's pressuring me and calling me stupid so it gets really heavy emotionally", the doctor can actually take action against your family by warning them off your case or something. I think they can do that if they know it'll help make you mentally/emotionally better.

It's no problem. I hope you feel better.
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Offline Harrstein

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2013, 14:22 »
.....

I know i shouldn't get butthurt from being called stupid, but it gets out of hand when they start telling me that they'll take me to the mental hospital & have my get checked up. I do have some tiny mentality @_@ but its not that bad. I'm pretty sure its normal for someone to see things that isn't real.
...

keep in mind that even i still walk around freely, and i even call myself stupid all the time.
Everything fits with a hammer. If not, grab a bigger hammer

Offline Pau

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2013, 21:00 »
Same here, with an addition of wall-head and head-desk  :swt:

uhm, im not good at cheering up at people but I hope you feel better soon. im not saying that your sick or something what i mean is I hope you don't let the bad things that happened to you get in your way. People often say that life is like a road. As you continue to move forward there will be pebbles on the way. sometimes bigger but still, be it pebbles or stones, they're just things you pass by like the others. When you come to a dead end, just find another path, there are lots of road these days. one maybe short and easy, one maybe long but worthwhile but both may lead you where you should be. So continue to walk, there are different paths, you maybe in walking on lumpy ones but keep on going, a road constructed just for you will definitely up ahead. So keep going, keep going, there are lots to see. learn from them, live from them, and know what you should be. don't think its the end, you're not dead yet. there are places you haven't seen and people you haven't met (like me). So keep going, keep going though it looks tiring at first, but at the end of the road you'll reminisce it's worth.

*uh...why do i feel like im doing a poem? .--.

Offline Angel~

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2013, 14:40 »
I have to say that I have to agree with Vallypoo on the relationship argument. I feel like you cannot consider a relationship a serious relationship after only 2 weeks. I feel like at least 3 months of being an official item you can consider it somewhat serious. I'm not really a sharey person, if you'd call that, and that protects me from things like this happening. Possibly this is a result of my somewhat damaged self-esteem and trust issues, that I will not get into at this time.

I don't know what to say to cheer you up on the matter of your friend raping you, since I have absolutely no experience on the matter. What I can tell you, is that everything will get better. Actually, IT won't get better, but YOU will get better. You will be able to find a way to put this experience in your system and deal with it. You will only become stronger and a more amazing person that I already know you are. Don't ever believe anybody who says that you are stupid, because you are the only person who can decide that.

It's an honor that you choose to tell your story to us like this and I hope that we will be able to help you through this rough period in your life.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2013, 09:44 by Angel~ »

thanks to Shineshan <3


Offline Zephyr of the Mist

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2013, 09:25 »
I have been trying to think of something to say to this and I can't. Go with what Ange and Vaux said, they have good advice.


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Offline `Shally.

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2013, 10:46 »
It's alright Zeph, and everyone else thanks for helping me.

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Offline verdandi

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Re: Depressed . . .
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2013, 17:50 »
I'm really really sorry you've had such a crappy time and that you're hurting.  I'm really glad that you feel like you can trust us and vent to us, though.  I've had to do it a few times and I always get a little scared thinking everyone's going to look badly at me for it, but at the same time, I feel like I have friends here and it does feel good to get things off your chest sometimes.

It makes me happy that you feel a safe, comforting environment here, too.  That there is one, that we can all be supportive of each other and get advice from each other is really great.  I hope from the bottom of my heart that you feel better and that things turn up for you, and that you keep feeling comfortable enough to talk it out to us until then.
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